my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
