Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
