Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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