So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
