Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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