Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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