How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think I died a long time ago.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
