I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
