fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
