why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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