But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
