If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
