I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
