Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
