did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
