the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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