I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
