you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
