I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
