Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
