It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
