I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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