I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
whose parrot is this?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
