Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I sprained my soul last night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
