Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
