Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I need moral support for this bender
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
