You work out of a Hotel?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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