I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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