it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I know her cup size but not her name....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The ass gains better be worth it
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