So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's never too late to be topless.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize