im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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