Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize