Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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