were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
