Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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