we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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