he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
