gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
