hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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