just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
