yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
