Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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