I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
