Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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