Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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