Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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