I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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