So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
