I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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