There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
