I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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