My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
