You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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