Dual....:-)
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
