no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
