I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
