I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
